


Ways To End a Relationship

by badboy_fangirl



Series: Incidents in the Life of Lincoln Burrows [6]
Category: Prison Break
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 04:39:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badboy_fangirl/pseuds/badboy_fangirl
Summary: Lincoln and Veronica try to make it work, until they don't.





	Ways To End a Relationship

**Author's Note:**

> When I did the math to figure out exactly when LJ should have been born, I decided on June 1990, so this story falls at Christmastime 1992, hence the references to cassette tapes, Sir Mix-A-Lot, Garth Brooks and The Godfather Trilogy.

Lincoln saw her before she saw him, so he slowed his pace and changed directions so he came up on her left side. Because it was almost Christmas it was cold outside, and Veronica wore a puffy winter coat, zipped and buttoned up the front. He slid up behind her, dipped his knees slightly and got his arms just below the hem of her coat so that his cold hands went right up her shirt, covering her bra-encased breasts. 

“Oh, Lincoln, no!” she cried, moving back against him in an effort to get away from his cold hands. “Why don’t you ever wear gloves?” she raged, reaching a hand up to slap him in the side of the head.

He ducked his head to avoid the main thrust of her arm and tucked his cold nose into her neck. “Hey, baby,” he breathed against her skin. “Miss me?”

“Sometimes, I think no,” she said, her hands settling over the front of her jacket, which now looked quite deformed since his hands were underneath it. When he rubbed both her nipples with feather-light touches, she gasped, “Then I think, oh, yeah.”

His teeth trapped her earlobe between them and tugged for a moment before he whispered, “What are you doing out here? It’s freezing.”

They stood in the lot behind Lincoln’s apartment building, and he had just happened to notice her standing there when he got of out his truck. He’d been anticipating seeing her all day because today was the day she came home for Christmas break from the University of Illinois. This would be their second Christmas as a couple, which he found hard to believe, because it was his longest relationship ever, not counting his marriage. Which he didn’t, because it had never been a relationship, at least not like the one he shared with Veronica.

Now that they had been together for over a year, he was used to everything. He was used to the way his heart speeded up when he talked to her on the phone, or when he saw her, or how every time he made love to her (and by now it was hundreds of times) it always felt just right. He was used to the fear that gripped him periodically when he imagined losing her, because he couldn’t imagine keeping her forever, not when she had so much going for her, and law school in her future and he had, at best, the foreman position at Bill Friedham’s Construction Company. Or even better, Lincoln Burrows, convict.

He’d had a few close shaves with the police during the last year, but nothing that he hadn’t ended up talking his way out of or, as luck would have it, being in the vicinity of someone else who appeared guiltier than he did. But just like with Veronica, he knew it was only a matter of time. Luck could only take you so far. Beautiful girls who were ten times smarter than you didn’t stick around. He felt bad whenever he thought things like that, because he knew Veronica didn’t think that way, but she did think he was just as good as any of the guys up at U of I who wanted to date her. But Lincoln knew the truth, and he knew eventually she would too. It was inevitable, like sunrises in the morning and snowflakes in Chicago.

But for now, it was Christmastime, and she had come home to him, and he had plans. Plans with her and LJ and Michael.

“I was looking at the Christmas trees,” she said, answering his question as to why she hadn’t let herself into his apartment, even though she had a key. The lot behind his house was full of cut trees just waiting for someone to come buy them. “I wondered if you had a tree in your house.”

“Nope,” he said, his lips sliding down the column of her throat. The two sweetest places on Veronica’s body—that weren’t covered by silky undergarments—was the spot right behind her ear, and the earlobe itself. If he ran his tongue over that sensitive spot just right, she would melt into a puddle at his feet, every time. He loved knowing things like that about her; he loved having that power over her. He liked to think it was just his tongue, and just his lips, and just him that could make her feel like that. And he’d beat the bloody hell out of anyone who ever tried to touch her the way he did. “I don’t have any decorations, remember? Lisa took them all when she left, because they were all hers.”

“I can’t believe you and Michael never accumulated a single ornament from any Christmas. I can’t believe I never insisted that you get a tree before!”

“We always came to your house, remember? We didn’t need our own tree, we used yours.”

“Well, that’s about to change,” she said, firmly grasping his wrists and pulling his hands out from under her shirt, sweater, and winter coat.

“What?” Lincoln asked as she turned around and faced him.

“We’re buying a tree for your apartment. And then we’re going to Payless to get some decorations!”

 

*^^*^^*

 

By the time they arrived back at Lincoln’s apartment, Michael had shown up with LJ. He and Veronica hugged enthusiastically, and she was disappointed, yet again, to hear he’d broken up with his latest girlfriend. “I can’t believe Lincoln and I have been together for over a year and you’ve barely stuck with one girl for a month!” she cried in disgust, giving him a shove and reaching to get LJ who was at her feet tugging on her pant leg. “Hey, pumpkin head,” she said, kissing the 2-year-old as he hugged her in welcome recognition.

“Hey, I dated Anna for two months!” Michael said in his own defense.

“Come help me with this tree, Mike,” Lincoln shouted from the other side of a full bushy pine tree and Michael dashed across the apartment to the open door to do as directed.

Veronica kept the baby out of the way as Lincoln twisted the screws in the tree stand and cussed with agitated regularity. Michael patiently held the tree steady as this went on for several minutes and Lincoln called directions from the floor. Veronica secretly wondered about Michael’s new break up. She knew he wasn’t like her, in that she’d known since she was 11 years old she wanted to grow up and marry Lincoln, but at the same time she found it out of character that he could never be with a girl longer than a few weeks. She suspected it was the same problem Lincoln had, the self-worth factor, but she had figured it out and worked around it, while any girl Michael ever hooked up with wouldn’t know the battered history of the lone figure that Michael was turning out to be. It made her sad, and she tucked it into the back of her mind. She would bring it up to Lincoln later, and see if they couldn’t figure out some solution to the whole thing.

Sometime later, as Lincoln was swearing up a storm as he flung Christmas lights around the base of the tree, Veronica came into the living room with hot cider and cookies for everyone. “Michael, where’s the movie? Get it fast, before Lincoln blisters all our ears permanently.”

“Not such a brilliant idea, eh?” Michael asked, finding ‘A Christmas Story’ underneath a pile of light boxes and turning to stick it in the VCR.

She rolled her eyes and cajoled Lincoln over to the couch, where all four of them piled in to watch the movie. LJ fell asleep against Lincoln’s chest and nobody thought to move him because they were too contented to be together. When the movie was over, Michael cleared away the hot cider cups and excused himself. “I’ll be back tomorrow,” he said when Veronica protested. “I have a huge paper due the day after holiday break and,” he said speaking more loudly when Veronica opened her mouth to argue. “I haven’t done any research yet. I’ll be back tomorrow. And we’ll finish the tree then, okay?”

Lincoln, Veronica noted, was happy to leave the tree in complete disarray, but she nodded when Michael insisted. “Okay,” she said.

“It’s three days till Christmas, Vee,” Lincoln said. “We’ve got tons of time.” He was no longer impatient over every little thing, having had a couple beers after his cider and as usual, LJ worked like a tonic on him. Veronica had noticed that more things set Lincoln’s temper off than she could ever have suspected, especially lately, but as long as LJ was nearby, he seemed to calm down easily enough. They had had a few huge fights during the length of their relationship, but they had always been over silly things that ended up being forgotten about as soon as they made physical contact with each other. And, at least for Veronica, she was more than content for things to remain as they were. They did fight sometimes, but really, who didn’t? And she loved Lincoln, loved him more with every day that passed, and she knew she would never stop loving him.

After Michael left, Veronica helped Lincoln ease LJ up off his chest and they put him to bed. Lincoln still lived in the one bedroom apartment he’d shared with Lisa, so whenever LJ was over, the bedroom was not where they spent their time. Now they settled on the sofa, with Lincoln’s arm around her and her head on his shoulder. In the early days of their relationship, whenever they managed to see each other, whether he drove down to Champaign to see her or she managed to get back up to Chicago to see him, the first thing they did when they saw each other was have sex. Now, they could usually wait until a more convenient time, which pleased Veronica because she didn’t like doing it in the car, or in Lincoln’s truck, and that was usually what happened. Not that she wasn’t as anxious as he seemed to be when those events happened, but sometimes it scared her because she could feel a desperation in him that she didn’t like. She had done everything she could think of to make him feel secure, to let him know that she loved him no matter what. She never even bothered him about selling anymore, leaving it an untouched topic. She knew he still did it, at least from time to time, because he was still making interest payments on the $90,000 he’d borrowed for Michael.

She remembered the first time she’d seen him that he wasn’t ripping her clothes off instantly; it had been Labor Day weekend, and they had only been apart for two weeks, because they had spent the entire summer together. Even so, she’d felt an odd tightening in her chest when all he did was hug her tightly and kiss her forehead. Then he asked her if she wanted to go get some food, and they went to a restaurant, had dinner, then went back to her dorm room, and had sex. They had been together almost two hours before anything happened, and that was literally a record. One time they had made it an hour, but that was because she’d made him meet her at her dad’s house. He’d gotten her out of there as fast as he could manage it without being rude to her father.

“I can’t see you tomorrow,” Lincoln murmured, drawing her thoughts back to the present. Now they were up to four hours, and he still seemed low key, not turned on at all.

“Why not?” she asked, wondering why he hadn’t said something earlier when Michael made his big stink about leaving.

“I’ve got to take LJ to the doctor for a check up and then do some Christmas shopping.”

“Three days until Christmas, and you’re going shopping?”

“Not everyone can buy everything by the end of October, you know,” he said with a laughing rumble in his chest. It teased her ear, and she snuggled in tighter to him.

“I’m just a planner, what can I say?” she asked, squirming against him when his fingers slid up inside her shirt and teased the skin of her abdomen.

“What did you get me?” he asked.

“Some gloves,” she answered instantly. “I’m tired of that cold hand trick you do to me. Shut up, it’s not funny,” she protested when he laughed again. “What did you get me?” she asked.

“You’ll see,” he said, and she felt his lips on the top of her head.

They fell silent for the moment, and Veronica’s eyes closed. She was sleepy; it had been a stressful week full of finals, late-night studying and last-minute papers that she had to finish. She was glad winter break had finally arrived, and that she was warm and snuggly in Lincoln’s arms. Nothing made her more happy than knowing she was his and he was hers. “Why can’t we see each other after you’re done shopping?” she asked, as the content of their conversation sunk in.

“I figure it’ll take all day.”

There was something in his voice she didn’t like, and she lifted her head to look into his face. His eyes met hers, and she got the distinct impression that he was lying, even though he was looking right at her. Then his eyes dropped to her mouth and his arm tightened, drawing her up closer to him. “We’ll finish the tree the day after tomorrow, I swear. And I’ll be in a better mood about it.”

Maybe that was it, she thought, reaching her hand up to touch his face softly. He was just grumpy and stressed. It was the busiest time of the year, after all. “Will LJ be here? For Christmas, I mean?”

“No, he goes back to Lisa’s tomorrow. We’ll do presents with him the day after probably. He’s too little to understand, so it doesn’t really matter.” The words made sense, but Veronica could feel the sorrow behind them. She ran her fingers over his stubbly jaw caressingly. His eyes darkened, and she felt the tension come into his body that she had been waiting for all evening. “Vee,” he whispered, extending his neck so their lips met softly. “You’re so pretty,” he said against her lips. “I can’t get over how pretty you are.”

She smiled because compliments weren’t something he handed out everyday, but again she heard something in his tone that didn’t sit right. The old desperation was there, and she could feel it more acutely when his tongue entered her mouth a moment later, but then his hands were under her shirt and she felt her concerns slip away with the fire he built steadily in her body.

 

*^^*^^*

 

The next morning, Lincoln left Veronica asleep on the couch under a blanket. He got up, got ready, got LJ ready and left her a small note telling her he’d call her at her dad’s later. He scribbled, “I love you,” on the bottom of the note and then felt foolish. He was acting funny and he knew it. She’d wonder why he wrote that when he never did stuff like that, just like last night she couldn’t figure out why he kept telling her how beautiful he thought she was.

His problem stemmed from lying to her about what his activities were for the day. He was meeting Lisa at the clinic for a check up for LJ. He was really not looking forward to it, because lately Lisa had been such a bitch, demanding money from him for LJ left and right, even though Lincoln rarely missed a child support payment. LJ had had chronic ear infections and finally they thought they’d gotten a handle on it, which was a relief for all concerned, but the doctor wanted to do some sort of hearing test on LJ to make sure there had been no permanent damage.

After that, though, Lincoln wasn’t going Christmas shopping. Instead, he was making a run for Crab Simmons. The money he owed Crab hung over his head like an indefinite noose, but usually he could mollify Crab by doing some of his dirty work for him. He had actually managed to pay down some of the debt over the last year, but he still owed $83,000, and with the interest rate Crab stuck to him whenever he couldn’t make a complete payment, he was going to be at least 30 before he ever paid it off. Still, Lincoln reasoned to himself, owing a guy some money, and doing him a few favors now and again was nothing compared to having Michael in a dead end job or living a life like his.

The strain came in when he tried to keep these parts of his life separate. He never talked to anyone about the money he owed, even though Vee knew all about it. He didn’t want her to know the lengths he’d gone to pay the debt, and he didn’t want her to know that sometimes he felt so overwhelmed by the whole thing that he knew he’d never get out of it. Lately, he’d had a recurring nightmare where he was dying, only in the dream he couldn’t tell what was killing him, but the only thought in his mind was that $90,000 that he owed Crab Simmons. As far as his non-analytical brain could tell, that was what was killing him. He’d woken in a cold sweat on more than one occasion because of that particular dream.

Whenever the stress of the debt became too much, he contemplated breaking up with Veronica. He knew these guys, and he knew the things they’d done to other men who didn’t meet their demands. The only good thing was that Veronica spent most of the year down in Champaign, so Simmons would really have to make a plan to go down there to do anything to her. And as long as Lincoln kept him happy, there was no reason for him to threaten Veronica. But there were days when he thought nothing he could do would keep the guy off his back, and those were the moments when severing all ties with anyone who mattered to him appealed mightily. If it was just his life he was fucking up, he could handle it. It was everyone else that he loved that he worried about.

Today he had to go across town and rough up some people who owed Simmons even more money than he did. It wasn’t like he had to break thumbs or anything, usually just a 1-2 to the abdomen, and whatever money the poor guy had on him, that’s what Lincoln took back to Crab, with some sort of promise as to when more money would come. Lincoln had taken the initiative to being the brawn behind Crab because that meant there wasn’t anyone looking to beat him up. By now, most of the guys ran when they saw Lincoln coming, but he always caught up to them. These things took time, and he had three guys to hunt down today, all on the lower west side. It would probably take him all day, and he didn’t want Veronica and Michael waiting for him at the apartment when he got home. Too much to explain and too much to deal with if he had to explain.

Telling Vee he couldn’t see her was probably harder for him than it was for her. He had this weird madness in his head except when he was with her. His brain always ticked around the obvious: break up with her, let her go, set her free before something happened to her. Beyond that was the plaguing thought about the money and how to pay it back, and how to not get caught by the cops while doing it. There were two things that quieted the racket down: a little weed mixed with the beer he normally relaxed with every evening or her very presence. And since they didn’t usually see each other all that often during the school term, he had found himself smoking with more frequency. He also found that he drank more when she wasn’t around, and that scared him even though it didn’t cause him to stop. The one thing he knew about his father was that he was an abusive drunk, and Lincoln knew his temper didn’t need anything to enhance it.

After the appointment at the clinic, and some minor bickering with Lisa over the bill, he rode the bus across town. He didn’t want his truck identified if he really had to beat the piss out of someone. As he climbed off at the 23rd Street stop, he checked his watch. He forced himself to stop thinking about all the what ifs, and all the things that he feared most, which involved Veronica forever disappearing from his life. It was almost 11am, and he had work to do.

 

*^^*^^*

 

When Veronica woke up, she pressed the blanket into her nose. She could smell Lincoln as if he was still there, and she delighted in the scent for a few moments before opening her eyes and taking in her surroundings. Getting to her feet, she walked over to the kitchen to look and see if he had anything good to eat, but stopped short when she saw the note he’d left her. I’ll call ya tonight at your dad’s, baby. Have a good day. I love you, L. She looked at the note until it blurred under eyes. Either something was wrong, or Lincoln was changing right in front of her eyes. She looked around his apartment, noticing, not for the first time, the clutter and dirt that had accumulated since she had left at the end of the summer. The place probably hadn’t been cleaned well since then, and to take her mind off the worry she felt, she decided an undertaking was in order.

As she scrubbed at the kitchen floor sometime later, she thought of how wonderful if it would be if Lincoln just happened to be growing more affectionate. Normally, a girl might think he was starting to think about marriage and settling down, after all they had been together for over a year. But what stuck in Veronica’s mind like nothing else was knowing that marriage was the last thing Lincoln would want, since he’d only gotten officially divorced earlier that year. Divorces took far longer to become final than marriages did, and they had technically been together as a couple while he was still married to Lisa Rix. She knew he wouldn’t be thinking along those lines for a long time, merely because marriage had a different meaning to him than it did to her. Beyond that, she had plans to go to law school after she got her B.A. and that meant she might move much further away. Now, she didn’t intend for them to break up when and if she traveled far for school, she intended to ask Lincoln to come with her, but she had two more years before she even had to decide that.

She knew Lincoln was more in love with her now than he had been in the beginning, just like her love for him had grown. He was considerate in all the things that mattered to her, willing to travel to see her as often as he could, calling her regularly when they were apart from each other, and always, always watching out for her. If he got a cold, he didn’t even want to kiss her because he didn’t want to infect her. It was a small thing, but it was one of those classically Lincoln things he did. He never took her to bed that he didn’t make sure she was as satisfied as he was; in fact, he took great pride in her pleasure, to the point of sometimes driving her to the edge and holding her there until she pleaded for his mercy. To her, these were the symptoms and symbols of his love, not pretty words, or little gifts or even little notes. He’d never had anyone around to tell him that girls enjoyed things like that, and she felt lucky when he remembered flowers (usually at Michael’s insistence, she had discovered) or tapped her chin with his fingers and told her he loved her. Those things were fairly infrequent, although sometimes in the heat of the moment as they made love he confessed things to her that fired her blood and made her understand what the point of lovemaking was. The closeness she felt to him at certain moments when he was inside her could not be manufactured or cultivated with a thousand love notes. 

She was smart enough to be grateful for what she had, recognizing that for all his machismo and bravado, he loved her deeply and showed her that love in the only ways he knew how. Other women might not have found it enough, and she’d listened to plenty of her girlfriends as they bitched about the very things Lincoln didn’t do that their boyfriends also didn’t do. She usually took the opportunity then to point out the things they did do and if that didn’t shut her friends up, she stopped talking about it. There were other guys who probably did all those things they wanted, but Veronica knew she wouldn’t trade Lincoln and his loyalty for any other guy.

Later, when she searched the hall closet for toilet bowl cleaner, she found a stash of Christmas presents. She knew that’s what they were because the toys for LJ were still in boxes marked with the words ‘some assembly required’ on them. There were two cassette tapes for Michael, Sir Mix-A-Lot and Garth Brooks, which Veronica found funny, but she knew Michael had started listening to Country music because of his dorm mate, who was from Texas. She also found The Godfather Trilogy, something Michael had been harping about ever since it was released, and her heart clenched at how Lincoln seemed to remember everything that would please his brother the most. It was as she started to open a third bag that it occurred to her she would ruin her own Christmas surprises if she continued to look, because what else would be in this bag except her presents? She paused, and then tucked the bag closed, resisting the temptation to look inside. Obviously all his shopping was done, and that meant Lincoln had lied to her.

 

*^^*^^*

 

It was after dark when Lincoln got home, but not as late as he expected it to be. “Damn,” he muttered to himself as he got through the door. There were no lights on inside, of course, but he wished he’d told Vee to leave one on. He thought about calling her and having her come over, but he was a little wasted and it was probably better not to see her in this condition. He should have realized he wasn’t too wasted if he could still think about her well-being, but it was such an involuntary habit that it didn’t strike him.

So when he heard her voice coming out of the dark of the kitchen doorway, he nearly shit his pants. “Where have you been all day?” A lurid curse word escaped him as he flipped the light on and there she stood, her hip propped on the kitchen counter and a very sour look on her face. “Where, Lincoln? Where have you been?”

They both blinked as their eyes adjusted, but Lincoln was a bit slower in his recovery time. “What? What are you doing here? I told you—“

“I know you didn’t go Christmas shopping.”

“Oh, yeah?” he asked, and even he could hear the childish nature of his response. “How do you know?”

“Well, for one thing, you don’t have any packages with you.” Her eyes cut down his body and then back to his face. He found himself flexing his empty hands, as though shopping bags might magically appear. “For another thing, I found all the presents you already bought in the hall closet.”

“What were you doing digging around in the closet?” he demanded, steadying himself by putting a hand on the doorjamb.

“I was looking for cleaning supplies. Which you have none of, by the way.” She leaned forward, examining his face closely, looking intently into his eyes. “Are you high?” she asked, and the incredulous tone of her voice grated on his nerves. She said it like he would never do something like that, like he never had done something like that. He was conveniently forgetting that he had never been in this condition around her, because she had never shown the slightest inkling of interest in it. He had a sudden memory of her smoking a regular cigarette once, but he only ever saw her do it the one time.

“So what if I am?” he responded. Anger like he hadn’t felt in a long, long time coasted along his veins, licking at him like elusive flames. He had no reason to be mad; if anything, she should be pissed at him, he’d lied and now he was obviously in a bad state. But all he could think was it was none of her damn business, and he wasn’t going to tell her a single thing.

Veronica looked taken aback, her face contorted in confusion, but then he saw her reach for control, and gain it, over her own temper. “So what if you are?” she repeated. “So what if you are. Hmmm. Well, I guess it wouldn’t matter so much except that you lied to me. And you don’t ever lie. Or at least, you’ve never lied to me before. Where were you all day?”

“Out.” Lincoln shrugged his jacket off and turned away from her, tossing the coat into the bedroom.

“Lincoln…”

“Look, I’m not telling you where I was,” he snapped.

“Oh, really. Do you want to tell me who you were with then?”

He moved into the living room and he heard her follow him. He turned on the lamp in there and deflected her with his own question. “So you just sat here all day with the lights out waiting for me to turn up?”

“Actually, no. First I cleaned this place, then I figured out you lied to me. Then I went and talked to my dad and he said I should give you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you had some good reason for doing what you did.”

“Good advice,” he muttered, sinking down on the couch.

“Is it good advice? Should I give you the benefit of the doubt or should I let my mind go on to the first conclusion it jumped to?”

“Which was?”

“That you’re cheating on me.”

“What? Oh, right! Who would I cheat on you with? Give me a break, Vee. You know it’s not that.”

“How would I know that?”

“You know I’d never cheat on you!” he shouted.

“How do I know that? You cheated on Lisa.”

There were a few other nerves she could have touched on, but nothing was as raw or as exposed as that. He leapt to his feet and she cowered back against the wall. “Don’t you dare throw that at me! That was not—you know, I, oh, fuck!” He rubbed his face with his hands and shook his head trying to clear it. He wasn’t going to be able to have a battle of wits with her, he was too stoned. “Just get out. Get out before I do something I’ll regret.”

“Like what? What would you do that you’d regret?” Her voice needled him until he clenched one fist tightly shut. “Are you going to hit me, Lincoln? Just because I want to know where you’ve been all damn day? Because I’ve been worried about you?”

“You’re not my wife, Vee.” He said that on purpose, with the intent to hurt her. Locking his gaze on hers, he waited to see tears start.

“No, I’m not, but last time I checked, I didn’t need a special label to get treated right by you.” She moved to the chair where her purse and coat were.

“Oh, so now I’m a shitty boyfriend?” he asked.

“No, Lincoln. You’re a liar. You lied to me, and you won’t tell me where you’ve been. That makes you nothing to me, nothing but a liar.”

“So, that’s it, huh? You’re just ending it over one little thing?”

Her head jerked up and she stared at him with wide eyes. She seemed incapable of tears, and he felt the desperate claw of fear rip through him. If she was so mad that she wasn’t crying, he really had blown it. He should just tell her, tell her everything, show her his bruised knuckles, tell her that all he did was beat up a few guys today, but his tongue wouldn’t move. “Why don’t you call me when you’re sober?” she said tightly and with that she walked out.

 

*^^*^^*

 

Lincoln didn’t answer his phone or the door, even when Michael came and pounded on it Christmas Eve. He heard his brother shouting angrily through the wooden structure about him being an “ass” and “an idiot for pissing Veronica off.” He was really glad he’d never gotten an answering machine, so he just unplugged the phone when it rang too frequently. It wasn’t until he heard Michael scream, “I’ll call the police to break the door down, and unless you’re already dead, I’m going to kill you!” that he realized he might be scaring his little brother, and that wasn’t his intent at all. He just didn’t want to face the inevitable questions and demands, and he wasn’t going to give in on that front.

He jerked the door open a crack and growled, “I’m fine. I don’t want to talk to you right now. Go away.”

“It’s Christmas Eve, Linc!” Michael said, wrapped in a warm winter coat with a beanie and gloves on. His cheeks were still stained with red from the cool air and Lincoln felt guilty about not inviting him in. He pressed his foot against the door to keep it open barely a crack.

“Why don’t you go spend it with Veronica, since you’re so obviously on her side,” Lincoln said and made to shut the door, but Michael’s hand slapped against it firmly.

“If I heard your side of it, maybe I’d be on your side,” he said.

“I doubt it.”

“That’s because you’re not even on your side. Just apologize to her, Linc! It’s Christmas! You don’t want to fight on Christmas. Come on!”

“I don’t want to talk about this. Not with you.”

“Oh, who else would you talk to? Your drug dealing buddies?”

Lincoln’s eyes snapped to Michael’s face. They had never talked about this, and Lincoln had convinced himself Michael didn’t know about it, even though he knew it was stupid to think his genius brother couldn’t figure it out.

“Yeah, I know about it,” Michael said in response to Lincoln’s expression. “I’ve known for a while.”

“Did Veronica tell you?” Lincoln demanded, hoping for a reason to be mad at her.

“No. I figured it out myself. You’re a bastard, you know that? Veronica is too good for you. She would walk to the ends of the earth for you, and all she wants is to know what you’ve been doing and you…” he broke off, disgust evident in his countenance. “Whatever. Do whatever you want. Screw it all up, see if I care.”

Michael turned and walked down the steps that led to the parking lot. Lincoln watched his retreating back, wondering if the rest of his life would be a series of people walking out because he had driven them away. 

 

*^^*^^*

 

The day after Christmas, Lincoln went to her house. He had her gifts wrapped and strategically positioned in his arms, so when she came to the door he thrust them into her hands. “You might as well have them,” he said, and his tone wasn’t as friendly as he intended to make it. He figured the fear he felt that this wouldn’t work was robbing him of any coolness.

She took the gifts, but he couldn’t tell if it was because she wanted to, or if she didn’t know what else to do. She promptly dropped them just inside the door and then gestured inside the house. “Do you want to come in?”

That was more of an invite than he anticipated, so he jumped right on it. “Sure,” he said, crossing the threshold. The tree in the living room blinked happily and the house smelled like gingerbread. “Your dad here?” Lincoln asked.

“No, he’s at work.”

“Oh, right,” Lincoln said. He always forgot about regular nine-to-fivers because his job with the construction company was mostly seasonal, although they had had some interior jobs that kept him somewhat busy through the winter months. It was just another of the many reasons he had for his extra-curricular activities.

Lincoln looked around, waiting for Veronica to sit down so he could sit next to her, but she remained standing, her arms folded over her chest. Her expression was somewhere between sadness and anger and he ached with wanting to make it right. He just didn’t know if he could smooth her over without telling her and he really didn’t want to tell her. He pressed his hands to his jean-clad thighs and rubbed the excess moisture from them. Then he took his coat off and threw it across the ottoman. “You want to open your presents?” he asked, trying for a light tone.

“No. You know what I want. And if you didn’t come here to give it me, I don’t know what you’re doing here.”

Fuck. He didn’t know what he was doing here, either. Everything he’d planned seemed to have escaped his memory at the moment. “Baby,” he began, moving towards her.

She put her hands up and sidestepped him. “Don’t ‘baby’ me, Lincoln.” She wasn’t fast enough and he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his arms despite her attempt to get away. “Don’t, Lincoln,” she murmured as his head tucked into her shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he uttered, perhaps more sincerely than he ever had before, and he had been very sorry in many other situations with Veronica. His lips found the skin of her neck through her hair and he said it again. “I’m sorry.”

He felt her arms flail a little and then hesitantly come to rest at the small of his back. “That’s not good enough, Lincoln,” she said, but there was a distinct warmth in her words now that hadn’t been there before.

“You can’t really think that I’d cheat on you,” he said softly, moving his lips to her ear. He tugged her hair out of the way and said in a low, intimate voice, “How many times did we make love the other night? Three? Like I could have even gotten it up again for someone else. I’m young, but I’m not Superman, you know.” He said that with a practiced smile because the thought had made him laugh when it occurred to him. “And you’re more than enough woman for me, Vee. I love you, and I don’t want anyone else.” He cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. “I love you. You. Only you. Always you, forever you.”

He felt her tremble in his arms, and her mouth opened. “I don’t—“ but then he kissed her, kissed her hard, with his lips and teeth and tongue. He kissed her with all the finesse he had from years of practice, but also from the wealth of love stored in his heart for her. He kissed her until the hands against his back weren’t just holding him, but gripping him, clinging to him, and then sliding up inside his shirt against his hot skin. When he let her mouth go for breath, he dipped his head down again and pressed kisses to her ear, her throat, and then his hands made quick work of her button down shirt, opening both it and her bra so fast that his head spun as her breasts filled his hands. He maneuvered her around until they reached the couch and then he turned so she was in front of him and sat down, pulling her against him as his mouth found her nipple. She cried out, her hands clenching in his hair as he teased her tender flesh with his tongue and then drew her deeply into his mouth, sucking hard until she moved against him, straddling his lap willingly. “Oh, please,” she whispered, and he knew he had her. Her hands fumbled with his zipper and then he was gasping as she returned the soft touches and caresses that aroused him completely.

She stood up quickly and removed her pants and panties before lowering herself down on him, her fingers wrapping around his neck as their eyes met, clung, delved into each other. Lincoln groaned with pleasure as she slid down on him, as the creamy heat of her settled his fear and drove all thoughts from his mind except coming. Coming, coming, coming…he gripped her hips to slow her down so it didn’t end too quickly. But then she shrieked as her own climax took her by surprise and Lincoln found himself watching her, completely undone by her surrender and, straining up against her, lost himself to the pulsing rhythm.

 

*^^*^^*

 

She had no will power where he was concerned. That was the first thought to flow through Veronica’s brain as soon as anything coherent could wheedle its way in. She had been so angry, she thought for sure if he tried to touch her, it would only incite her further. And it had, but it had incited her to a mind-blowing orgasm, not to an argument.

Now she lay with her head on his chest, which still happened to be covered by his shirt because neither one of them had gotten so far as taking off any of his clothes. Her shirt hung open on her shoulders and her bra was up underneath her armpits, but she was naked from the waist down. His hands stroked up and down her back, under the shirt all the way down to the curves of her buttocks. She could feel his heartbeat as it slowed down and she felt tears prick her eyes, because regardless of the fact that he hadn’t told her what she wanted to hear, what he had said, and how he had just made love to her had been breathtaking. And even though she was mad at him, she still loved him more than anything in the world.

She moved then, sitting up slowly. Their lower bodies were still connected and Lincoln winced a little as she pulled away. “Don’t leave,” he said softly, his hands splaying on her back to hold her close. He shifted, sliding down to a prone position on the sofa, and she stayed with him, stretching out next to him. He reached up and tugged a throw pillow down for him to rest his head on. He kissed her lips again, soft as air, and whispered, “I love you.”

Veronica closed her eyes and nestled her head into his neck, allowing him to tuck her under his chin easily. “I love you, too, Lincoln. But I’m not totally satisfied, here.”

“You feel pretty satisfied to me,” he said with a chuckle and she found herself smiling too.

“You know what I mean,” she said, hoping that if she didn’t force eye contact that maybe this would go her way.

“I do,” he acknowledged, much to her surprise. “I don’t want to tell you, Vee, and you don’t need to know. All you need to know is that it had nothing to do with you.”

“Everything in your life has to do with me, Lincoln. We’re together. Our lives are interwoven.”

He took a moment to reply. “You know that there are things about my life that are different than your life,” he said, his voice calm. “This is part of that. Please, just let it go.”

She sighed heavily and felt the worry encompass her heart again. “What if you get arrested?” she asked, digging her fingers into his chest. “What if you…”

“Shhhh,” he breathed, pressing his lips against the top of her head. “Nothing like that’s going to happen. Don’t worry about it. Really. Nothing is going to happen.” Veronica slid her arm up around his neck and pressed her face hard against his chest. She didn’t believe him, but she couldn’t figure out a way to express her fear any other way. “Let’s open those presents,” he said, easing her up into a sitting position. He flashed a grin at her that calmed her worry for the moment.

 

*^^*^^*

 

Three days after Christmas, the first snowfall hit Chicago. It was beautiful and plentiful, easily covering the city with four feet of snow overnight. Lincoln had picked up LJ the night before, and now he and Veronica had bundled the baby up and taken him outside to play in the snow. As LJ inspected the whiteness and the coldness of it, Lincoln began to feel a contentment he didn’t know was possible. When it was him and Vee and LJ, he felt the word family resonate against his heart in a way he’d never understood before. It worked, this way, and he marveled that he could feel so sure about it.

When he calmed Veronica’s fears about him getting caught doing something he shouldn’t he believed himself. He believed it would work out, because it just had to. They loved each other, and it worked between them, and telling her it would be okay was his job. He couldn’t remember ever wanting to comfort Lisa, or having said something to her and knowing that she trusted he was making it happen, that he was making it all right. He never cared if she found comfort in his declarations, but with Veronica he wanted it to be as true as when he told her he loved her. When he told her not to worry, he actually felt himself stop worrying about it. That was the magic of Veronica.

He didn’t even notice the police car as it pulled up because he and Vee had lain in the snow and were making snow angels and LJ had just stumbled over and climbed on top of his chest, giggling sweetly. When he heard, “Are you Lincoln Burrows?” he had to move LJ slightly to the right to see the guy standing over him with nightstick in his hand.

“Uh, yeah,” Lincoln said, sitting up, clutching LJ to his chest.

“I have a warrant for your arrest,” the officer said, holding up a piece of paper.

“My arrest?” Lincoln asked stupidly. “What for?”

“Criminal Damage to Property.”

“What the hell? Whose property?”

The officer turned the warrant back towards himself so he could read it. “A guy named Crab Simmons. Says you busted the window and lock of his car.”

Lincoln stood up awkwardly, holding LJ against his chest. “That’s not true.”

“Well, you’ll have to prove that downtown. For now, you need to come with me.”

Lincoln turned back to Veronica who had also climbed to her feet. “It’s not true,” he said to her. “I didn’t do anything to his car.” She reached for LJ but didn’t say anything. Lincoln’s mind raced back to the day he found Jay Gregory, one of the guys who owed Crab. He’d been leaning on an El Camino, and the fight that had ensued had resulted in some dents to the car, as well as the window breaking when Lincoln rammed the guy’s head into it. He shook his head. What were the odds that that car was actually Crab’s and that Crab would do this to him? He suddenly felt as guilty as he knew he was, because he knew Crab wouldn’t think twice about having him locked up because that would just make the debt worse. His eyes met Veronica’s and he just shook his head.

“Let’s go, Mr. Burrows,” the officer said.

Lincoln leaned down and kissed LJ’s cold cheek. “Call Michael. He can take LJ back to Lisa’s.”

“I’ll see if my dad can hire a lawyer for you,” Veronica said, her eyes filling with tears.

“Don’t bother, Vee,” Lincoln said grimly. “A PD will work just fine for this. It’s my own damn fault.”

 

*^^*^^*

 

Five days later, a different officer led Veronica into the visitation area at the County jail. The fact that she had done this before under completely different circumstances, lingered in her mind and she sat patiently waiting for a few moments, unsure of how she would handle it when she saw Lincoln. She didn’t know what she had come there to do, either to break up or to reassure him that she’d be there no matter what. She should have waited to come until she knew for sure what to do, but she didn’t think she’d ever know what to do.

Michael was furious over the whole thing and was currently refusing to see Lincoln. The sentencing would follow the next week, but Lincoln’s public defender had already advised him to plea-bargain down to three months in exchange for an agreement to pay to repair the damage to Crab Simmons’ car. 

Veronica alternately seethed with anger over his lying to her yet again and cried uncontrollably with fear for what this meant. When he sat down heavily in the chair across from her, she was glad the plastic window was between them. She would either do something stupid like start smacking the hell out of him or bawl all over his shoulder. When his eyes met hers, the defiance she saw there got her hackles up.

He picked up the phone, waiting for her to do the same. When she did, she put the receiver to her ear and waited for him to say something. He also waited, maybe expecting her to speak first, she didn’t know, but when their eyes met again and locked, he said, “What do you want?”

That shocked her more than anything he could have said and she snapped right back, “How about another apology? You know, one where you also include the truth.”

“Did you come here to end it? If you did, just do it. Just get it over with.”

“Have you got something more pressing going on?” she asked churlishly.

His eyes flinched, but that was about all the reaction she got from him. “What’s the point?” he asked.

“I didn’t necessarily come here to break up with you, but now that I’m here, I might as well ask the question of the hour. Is that what this is all about? Are you trying to get me to break up with you? First the whole ‘Christmas shopping’ lie and then the ‘I didn’t do it’ lie. If you want to get rid of me so bad, just be a man and break up with me!”

She watched with fascination as his temper broke completely. “Fine!” His raised voice caused the guards to take notice and they walked quickly towards him. “It’s over, okay? It’s over. We’re done. Are you happy now?”

The phone slipped from her fingers and she stood up. She stared at him until he dropped her gaze and she’d never seen anything quite as terrifying or heartbreaking as the rage the bubbled out of him as the guards put their hands on his shoulders to control him. Before she started crying, she turned and walked out.


End file.
